Reaching for Peace
Helen Morrison, President, Board of Directors
I am going to share something personal with you. I am sharing something personal with you because I think it might be helpful. There is some heartache in it, but there is also a lot of love.
Over the past 14 years that I have been involved with Kingdom Animal Shelter, I have taken many cats into my home. Some started as fosters. But almost always, I adopted them. It just seemed important to me that they officially have a home. Of course, the years have gone by, and those kitties have aged. Some have passed away. Within the past months, during vet visits and just observing these precious beings, it is clear that three more are facing significant health challenges. Dominic is twelve years old and a gorgeous long haired tuxedo boy. He lost his right eye due to a risk of cancer developing. He is FIV+. And now, he has both heart disease and kidney disease. Both are very common end-of-life issues for cats.
Nicholas is a handsome 14 year old orange boy, quite shy, only allowing petting when he is eating. He has heart disease.
Allison Alleycat is a 15 year old calico girl, sweet, chubby, funny, with a Tallulah Bankhead meow. We just found out that she has heart disease.
Over the past 14 years that I have been involved with Kingdom Animal Shelter, I have taken many cats into my home. Some started as fosters. But almost always, I adopted them. It just seemed important to me that they officially have a home. Of course, the years have gone by, and those kitties have aged. Some have passed away. Within the past months, during vet visits and just observing these precious beings, it is clear that three more are facing significant health challenges. Dominic is twelve years old and a gorgeous long haired tuxedo boy. He lost his right eye due to a risk of cancer developing. He is FIV+. And now, he has both heart disease and kidney disease. Both are very common end-of-life issues for cats.
Nicholas is a handsome 14 year old orange boy, quite shy, only allowing petting when he is eating. He has heart disease.
Allison Alleycat is a 15 year old calico girl, sweet, chubby, funny, with a Tallulah Bankhead meow. We just found out that she has heart disease.
|
|
|
So, there is a blood test, called a Pro BNP. I believe it measures an enzyme that can indicate heart damage. Normal is 100 or less. Nicholas’s ProBNP is over 1000. Both Dominic’s and Ali’s are in the 600’s.
Needless-to-say, these have made me catch my breath. And they brought on significant sadness, because I am suddenly looking at the reality of their loss in the not-to-distant future.
And we love them with all our heart.
As we contemplated the future of these three wonderful beings and their loss, I began to realize that the sadness at losing them was taking away from my being able to enjoy them in the moment, all the sweet and wonderful and quirky things that they are continuing to do. Yes, we have had to up our game plan of keeping them comfortable…with supplements to help their hearts and their kidneys. We monitor their weights, their food volumes, the meds we give. And it feels good to have these things to do for them, to make them more comfortable.
We decided we aren’t going to do anything extraordinary, no long trips to specialists, no frequent trips for treatments that might only help a little. The stress on these kitties would just be too great. It would take away from the sweet, simple times at home, being petted, lying in the sun, tasting a little Churu, snuggling up for an afternoon nap. We want just those sweet things to continue as long as possible. We want to keep them comfortable. There is no fixing these afflictions. We do take Dominic and Ali to the vet for checks on their status and tweak treatment plans. (Nicholas is impossible to get into a carrier.)
Sometimes there is a wave of helplessness that floods over us. But we just slow down. Focus back on comfort and what is possible. Because, what we want more than anything is to cherish the simple sweet moments, for as long as they are the most prevalent. And then, when life has become no longer comfortable for these sweet kitties, then it is time for their energy to become something else, as Dr. Sally has often said. Easy? Not in the least. I know of nothing harder than losing these precious beings who have graced our family. But it is very very important for them to be the ones tended to and comforted. We don’t want to lose sight of their comfort and peace in trying to ease our own wish to try to keep them here with us. It just wouldn’t be fair.
I guess what has become clear for me is that it is about quality not quantity of life, that it is about these precious beings and their comfort, and not about us. And what
is absolutely key is keeping the moment special and yet ordinary, just savoring the sweet and simple moments.
Needless-to-say, these have made me catch my breath. And they brought on significant sadness, because I am suddenly looking at the reality of their loss in the not-to-distant future.
And we love them with all our heart.
As we contemplated the future of these three wonderful beings and their loss, I began to realize that the sadness at losing them was taking away from my being able to enjoy them in the moment, all the sweet and wonderful and quirky things that they are continuing to do. Yes, we have had to up our game plan of keeping them comfortable…with supplements to help their hearts and their kidneys. We monitor their weights, their food volumes, the meds we give. And it feels good to have these things to do for them, to make them more comfortable.
We decided we aren’t going to do anything extraordinary, no long trips to specialists, no frequent trips for treatments that might only help a little. The stress on these kitties would just be too great. It would take away from the sweet, simple times at home, being petted, lying in the sun, tasting a little Churu, snuggling up for an afternoon nap. We want just those sweet things to continue as long as possible. We want to keep them comfortable. There is no fixing these afflictions. We do take Dominic and Ali to the vet for checks on their status and tweak treatment plans. (Nicholas is impossible to get into a carrier.)
Sometimes there is a wave of helplessness that floods over us. But we just slow down. Focus back on comfort and what is possible. Because, what we want more than anything is to cherish the simple sweet moments, for as long as they are the most prevalent. And then, when life has become no longer comfortable for these sweet kitties, then it is time for their energy to become something else, as Dr. Sally has often said. Easy? Not in the least. I know of nothing harder than losing these precious beings who have graced our family. But it is very very important for them to be the ones tended to and comforted. We don’t want to lose sight of their comfort and peace in trying to ease our own wish to try to keep them here with us. It just wouldn’t be fair.
I guess what has become clear for me is that it is about quality not quantity of life, that it is about these precious beings and their comfort, and not about us. And what
is absolutely key is keeping the moment special and yet ordinary, just savoring the sweet and simple moments.